Skidding into Reality

Skidding



No more mental post mortems
No more going over the past with a fine tooth comb
and looking for evidence that you are bad
You said the wrong thing
You moved when you should have been still
Were silent when you should have spoken



It all went down the way it was supposed to
And you are still here with your breath and your great heart
With the chain stitch running zig zag across it
You are still here with ground beneath your feet



You are still here after the sloppy sentence that made every one look up from there soup.
You are still here with that unrequited love and longing, knowing that if you rounded the corner and saw him, your knees would buckle, your heart would tumble into your shoes, and you mouth would try to form words that would never come.



There are no perfect words there is no perfect timing, there is just you skidding across the ice like Bambi, laughing with Thumper.
You don’t know how to skate.


How could you?
You are so innocent.
And who is to say that skating is the goal?
The secret is -- that skidding is…




Dedicated to Katie
Susan Garrard
6/19/7



This poem actually came before Vampire Girl, but VG sticks out in my mind as the beginning of writing poems again. During my divorce I went through this period of second guessing myself and looking over my past with a fine tooth comb. I thought I could find the place where I should have turned left instead of right. The place where I missed something that led to the demise of the marriage. I started doing a self inquiry process called "The Work." I started doing it in December of 2005, and have done it everyday since. I was in so much pain it was the only thing that helped me find a place of peace in my life. This surprised me because I had been a consistant meditator for four years. I couldn't sit any more, my mind was too agitated. This poem is about finding peace in that time of suffering. "The Work" opened up my world. I dedicated it to Byron Katie, who goes by Katie. She discovered "The Work." You can check it out on thework.com.